In this interview with sex and relationship therapist Juliet Grayson, I ask her about her work, and we delve into some of the key ideas in her book Landscapes of the Heart.
In the first 17 minutes of the interview we talk about the problem of child abuse. Juliet helps to run a charity that has a team of psychotherapists who can help people before they ever commit a crime – tackling the problem at its very root. It’s powerful stuff with some extraordinary information – like the possibilty that sexual attraction to minors may be determined while the baby is still in the womb, perhaps during the first trimester of pregnancy as this aticle suggests. The charity is STOPSO and their website says it all: “There are practically no NHS services available for people who have, or might, commit sexual offences. Access to professional support and help is limited and most therapists don’t want to work with these clients.” And yet… “[there are]1,417 victims of sexual abuse EVERY DAY in the UK. Surely prevention is best? StopSO works with those at risk of harmful sexual behaviour, to enable them to stop acting out, reducing the risk to society and reducing the number of victims.” It’s a no-brainer of course, but as usual short-termism and lack of – what? commonsense? collective will? money? – has meant successive governments focus on clearing up afterwards rather than intervening before things happen, and so the voluntary sector, STOPSO in this case, has to do the work.
In the rest of the interview, Juliet talks about her work with couples in relationship counselling. Whether you’re in or out of a relationship, or are a therapist, I think you will find her insights fascinating and helpful. And listen out for when Juliet explains why she doesn’t believe in unconditional love in relationships. If you are interested in the workshops and trainings Juliet runs, see her website.
The therapeutic method she mentions is the Pesso Boyden System Psychomotor, and the TED talk I mention is Daniel Kahneman: The Riddle of Experience vs Memory.